Returning to Normalcy

Holy, I haven’t blogged in a minute. Sorry. My life was NKOTB clogged for about 18 months. Now that they’ve left me again, I’m slowly returning to my usual self. I watched a documentary last night called “Paper Heart” all because of a blog I read. Is that spontaneous or what? Reminds me of the time I had my after work plans screwed up all because of a coupon that said Cheesecake Factory was having a half off sale on their cheesecakes one day. Bye bye gym, hello red velvet cheesecake! Yum, and yes, it was worth it. After watching the film, it made me realize how much I had missed out on this whole time I was running around the country following a band. I could’ve started writing my next play already. I could’ve attended workshops at Bindlestiff. I could’ve auditioned for shows. I could’ve followed through on learning how to play the guitar. I could’ve picked up the kulintang again. I could've gone to more indie rock or comedy shows that my friends performed at. Well, guess now’s my chance.

Oh wait, I got sidetracked. I meant to talk about “Paper Heart.” I meant to say that watching that film made me realize the type of guys that I like. They’re a kind of a geeky, effeminate, sensitive, laidback, awkward sweetheart type of guy. Where do they hang out because I’d really like to go there and people watch. I’m not the bold confident type that can just walk up to a guy and tell them I like them or that I think they’re a potential mate for me. I’m more the type to watch them from afar and hope they notice me & take an interest enough to come to me and say hello. That happened last night. Unfortunately, it was because the guy was the host of the restaurant so he was paid to do it. In an indirect kind of way, I paid him to say hello to me since I was a customer. Is that what I’ll have to do? Pay someone to talk to me? That doesn’t make sense. Why should I pay him? He should pay me. He should pay me some attention because…because……hmmmph. I can’t finish this sentence, much less this thought. Getting cluttered. I will resolute later.

Dressing room anxiety

I have this guy best friend and we're cool and everything but I don't think I'm comfortable enough to be able to change my clothes in front of him. As a matter of fact, I don't think I'd be comfortable changing my clothes in front of anyone for that matter. I see people who willing to just strip their clothes anywhere and everywhere like at the mall because they want to try on a cool shirt. I'm thinking these types of people are either really conceited because they think they have a hot bod or really lazy to bounce around looking for the dressing room. Or, they're in a mad rush and need this particular item of clothing crazy quick.

You would never see a fat person start stripping in the middle of the round racks trying on all the discounted (discarded) clothes no matter how much of a rush they are in. But then again, regardless of your size, that's what a dressing room is for, right? It's the only place in the whole public department store where you could find some privacy. That's exactly the reason why I don't trust these dressing rooms, no matter how clean they may appear.

Can you imagine the types of things people do in there? Pimple popping, nose picking, foot scrubbing, pubic hair plucking, plaque removing, and toejam picking individuals probably flock to these rooms because it's the only place that they can be themselves without judgement. It's places like those that make me feel like Tony Shaloub from "Monk". You just never know when there will be germs around. I'd better start carrying some antibacterial tissue around with me so that I don't get some freak's toejam stuck on my socks.

OMG, how did I get to talking about toejam? I totally intended to talk about my best guy friend. My best friend is in a volatile relationship that makes me wonder about what keeps people committed to each other when they're no longer in love? It's like that song, "Break up to Make up" by The Stylistics. First you love them, then you hate them. That's a game for fools. I'm starting to think this is all just foreplay. I guess if you've been with someone long enough and you're bored enough, the only time you'd find them to be hot is when they're no longer yours. What do they call that? Forbidden love (lust)? Guess that's why students fall for their teachers, folks go for married individuals, or white guys go for Asian girls. That last one I don't validate. I'm just blabbering. I'm hoping that one day, I'll find someone to break up with, and get back together, and break up with, and get back together. But if that happens, I'm gonna be pissed. I think I'd rather opt to buy a dog.