Returning to Normalcy

Holy, I haven’t blogged in a minute. Sorry. My life was NKOTB clogged for about 18 months. Now that they’ve left me again, I’m slowly returning to my usual self. I watched a documentary last night called “Paper Heart” all because of a blog I read. Is that spontaneous or what? Reminds me of the time I had my after work plans screwed up all because of a coupon that said Cheesecake Factory was having a half off sale on their cheesecakes one day. Bye bye gym, hello red velvet cheesecake! Yum, and yes, it was worth it. After watching the film, it made me realize how much I had missed out on this whole time I was running around the country following a band. I could’ve started writing my next play already. I could’ve attended workshops at Bindlestiff. I could’ve auditioned for shows. I could’ve followed through on learning how to play the guitar. I could’ve picked up the kulintang again. I could've gone to more indie rock or comedy shows that my friends performed at. Well, guess now’s my chance.

Oh wait, I got sidetracked. I meant to talk about “Paper Heart.” I meant to say that watching that film made me realize the type of guys that I like. They’re a kind of a geeky, effeminate, sensitive, laidback, awkward sweetheart type of guy. Where do they hang out because I’d really like to go there and people watch. I’m not the bold confident type that can just walk up to a guy and tell them I like them or that I think they’re a potential mate for me. I’m more the type to watch them from afar and hope they notice me & take an interest enough to come to me and say hello. That happened last night. Unfortunately, it was because the guy was the host of the restaurant so he was paid to do it. In an indirect kind of way, I paid him to say hello to me since I was a customer. Is that what I’ll have to do? Pay someone to talk to me? That doesn’t make sense. Why should I pay him? He should pay me. He should pay me some attention because…because……hmmmph. I can’t finish this sentence, much less this thought. Getting cluttered. I will resolute later.