Fat cuz I'm single or single cuz I'm fat

Okay, let me just get this overwith already. I am 30 and single not because I don't want to date, but rather, it's because I'm fat. :P Haha! There's no way I'm gonna go out with anyone feeling like this and it radiates. Seriously. I won't go. I keep making excuses not to go to the gym and yet, I always find myself not at the gym. So, I guess I'm successful at keeping myself fat. What a dork. It's cool. A part of me seems to be happy this way. As my best friend would say, it's a personal form of contraception. I'd say it's the best form. I don't have to worry about it failing me. I don't have to purchase any high priced form of prophylactic. I don't need to make sure I bring it with me on a date. It's 100% guaranteed!

I was reading this article last night,"Obesity is 'socially contagious' " http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/07/070725175419.htm Basically, there was a study that found that if your friends are fat, you have a higher chance of also being fat. Well, since some of my closest friends are fat, it seems that there is a high chance that I am fat. Hmmm...let's ponder on this path for a second. I'm competely obsessed with weight, I have cravings for fresh baked goods any given time of the day, and there are multiple unsuccessful attempts at weight loss in my physical routine's history. It is highly likely that these characteristics are present among some of my overweight friends.

I guess that's just a formal way of saying "Birds of a feather flock together." Well shiet, hella yah! I don't need a 32 year long study to tell me that I tend to pick bigger friends because we like to hang out together gorging on a cheesecake! That's the best part about our social circle! Can't do that with skinny people. And I don't have a fucked up boyfriend who might scrutinize my subtle weight gain, giving me shit for crushing his lap, thus forth, bruising my ego and lowering my self-esteem so thank god for that. Skinny people are obsessed with their weight too but are a lot more subtle. I say fuck it! Life is too short to miss out on that bomb ass cheesecake! If I ate some delicious cheesecake and died early, then at least I will have died happy. What's the point of watching your waist if you're gonna be thinking about it for the rest of the day? Take a bite! Just satisfy your craving and be HAPPY, goddammit! Making cake out of cheese? It's god's gift to humanity.