Toys of my time have life in my mind

I have a love affair with my old toys. I was scrolling through Ebay and found all these toys that I had placed in the subconcious part of my mind. Now I have to spend my imaginary money to satisfy the imagination I utilized as a child and make these meaningless purchases. I love the Fisher Price Movie Viewer. I swear, toys at my age are 10 times better than the toys that are sold today. Also, the Fisher Price music box record player with the 3 mm thick plastic records, the View master with the circular reels of movie slides, and who can forget the long lasting, ever entertaining Spirographs? I love my era. Toys were tight. Today's toys have too many restrictions on them. Times were so much simpler back then when we didn't know about lead paint, small parts that may choke small children, and plastic bags had no warnings about suffocation. Why don't parents just watch their kids?

I'd be one of those cool moms. I'd be one of those moms that would let their kids eat stuff off the floor and then I'd stick my own dirty hands into their mouths to pull it out. I'd be one of those moms that takes their kids to the mall and let them run around in front of me instead of putting a dog harness on them. I think I would laugh rather than freak out if my child was trying to walk and fell down cuz I just think kids are super resilient like that. Besides, if they fell, it's not a big deal. They're not that far from the floor anyway so no harm done. And I would wanna make my child's hair all crazy, maybe put some pomade in there at age 2 to make them look gangsta. Then other kids will know not to mess with my baby or else they'll get pimp slapped. Something to that effect.

I wish kids would stop screaming in the stores. It really bugs me. The high pitched sound of their tiny voice can crack a contact lens. I was at the grocery store last night and some baby was puffing out tiny screams that pierced my brain and left me with a headache. I wanted to go over there and tell that kid to shut up but at the same time, if this baby was being kidnapped, I didn't want to get involved. So I stayed by the tater tots and tolerated the unconditional noise. It's moments like these that make me afraid to bring a child into this world. This world cannot handle another looney Ava. Besides, I'm predicting that the world will be unfit for humans someday. Aren't they looking for another planet that is fit for human life right now? I believe Mars was a close winner. That is one evacuation I do not want to live to see. I can barely stand a 1 hour plane ride so imagine a spaceship ride to another planet. How many light years is it going to take to get us there? And what the hell is a light year? Time or distance??!